A Blood-Stained Romance
by genora.shackelford9
Summary: Ethan thinks it's okay to use Benny for sex, He soon has to deal with the consequences when Benny gets pregnant. Benny goes through depression and self-loathing and finally leaves. Ethan makes a bad choice and loses him. Can he fix what he has done to the poor heartbroken brunette?
1. Torture

**Hello my fellow readers, I've decided to give this story another go. I'm sorry for the people who read the other chapter beforehand. It wasn't my original vision. Anyway, I hope this will have more insight about how it all happened in the first place. I'm not gonna take down the chapters all at once, but I'll delete them and redo them as I go. Anyway, for the people who didn't read my other try, this takes place after the Lucifractor, so everyone's gonna be basically mated after that. The pairings are Sarica, Bethan, Rory/Dave, Jesse/Alex, and slight Rosalina/Ethan. Ethan's a vampire, too, but I probably won't describe how he was changed until a couple of more chapters. He also gained more powers due to Seer powers as well. Anyway, this is my first time doing a actually MBAV fic, so it's gonna be a bit OOC, but if you had any ideas or suggestions, feel free to PM me. Anyway, this is gonna be rated M for a reason. There will be mentions of Self-harm and explicit sexual situations, so beware and feel free to leave if this isn't your cup of tea. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it. I tried really hard. Follow,Review, and Favorite. Enjoy!?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own MBAV or it's characters, but I do own Alex Mason, Dave Shapiro, and Rosalina Marisol.**

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**Chapter 1 - Torture**

**(Benny' s P. O. V)**

It was happening again. All the things I wanted, All the things I needed, All the things I could wish for, as I lay in complete utterly pleasure as Ethan pounded into me. It was one of the many times where I laid here reminiscing about how all of this came to past, how my nerdy best friend turned from the once shy, perky, and kindest man who had ever lived to the beautiful monster I have now dreadfully fallen in love with, how my heart made the Irrefusable decision that not only changed my life, but changed the true and pure perception of my own best friend all together. The many thoughts and memories began to seep deep into my subconscious as he sank deeper into my quivering flesh.

**(Flashback)**

_Shortly before the fight over the Lucifractor, Ethan was fine, perfect even. Well, except for the fact that he was lying across his greenish looking sofa looking utterly terrified and most likely seeing things, but he was okay. Kinda, anyway. I looked at him, saddened that the guy I was utterly and deeply in love with looked so fragile, almost broken._

_It was times like these when I felt completely helpless and useless to the guy who saved my life more than anyone in the entire universe could ever begin count. I mean when we were growing up, Ethan was the strong one. Yeah, he didn't look like it, but he was. People always thought that I was, even Grandma herself, but I wasn't. I was as weak as they come. I mean, yeah he was a bit nerdy and shy, and also had a hard time talking to guys, let alone girls, but was the smartest and kindest person I've ever known. It was Ethan who always was the one to pick up the pieces when I messed up. Even when we got bullied constantly, he was always the one who stood proud and tall in the end, no matter how many bruises or cuts that aligned his body during our walk back home. Hell, even when my parents died when I was six, he was my shoulder to cry on and the one who whispered sweet and pleasant nothing's in my ear until I felt better._

_Ethan was rock that kept my soul together when I constantly lose all hope. He had a pure, big, angelic heart who almost anyone could love. He loved his friends as much as he loved his family, especially Jane, no matter how much he complained how annoying she was. He would go to all lengths to help the ones he loved, no matter who wronged him in the past. It was a special ability not many others hold. I guess that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with him. He was a man of many wonders that's yet to be revealed. So, it was moments like these that constantly bewildered me every time. This wasn't like him and I didn't like it one bit. I got up out of my seat quickly and sat beside him, and watched as he flinched away from me. I sighed, and turned him to me and made him look at me._

_"Okay, that's enough. Okay, E? We went against all kinds of crazy stuff and things we didn't even knew existed, let alone understand, and we always won. Well, most of the time, we lose, but that's not the point. The point is, you're always the one who pulls through. Every time. We all believe in you, E. Please?" His eye softened softly at me, but it still held small traces of fear in them, but not as much as before. I smiled at him and I watched as Sarah rushed through the door and went to stand beside the couch. She looked at Ethan mournfully, but sighed._

_"I just talked to Erica, and she said she'd meet us there, but the Vampire Council refuses to get involved." She looked at him as she crouched beside the couch._

_"Ethan, we need your help. If we don't stop Stern, who knows what would happen to us." He looked at us fearfully and sat up, looking at me deeply in my shimmering green eyes. He smiled, hesitantly._

_"Okay, I can't let anything happen to you guys. Your grandma said I had to find something stronger than fear. I think I just did. B?" He said, his voice slightly waving scarily within his vocals as he held out both of his hands for me to take. I blushed slightly, but tried to slowly focus and remember the urgentness of the situation at hand. I took them willingly as I instantly felt Ethan and I' s magic flowing throughout my fingertips as they immediately began to glow a deep marine blue. Sarah stared in amazement, smiling as I watched as Ethan's gorgeous chocolate brown orbs turned from frantic to calm in just mere seconds. He smiled and my heart nearly dropped,grew wings and flew out of my chest at the sight._

_"I'm okay, as long as I don't let the fear through. We can do this." I sighed, my doubting once again kicking in._

_"We're on our own against Stern, though." We all stopped and looked at my grandma who's posture was frozen straight and was clearly unconscious._

_"Well, I guess someone's banishment can't be enforced." He exclaimed, as he began texting. Sarah and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows. He sighed._

_"I thought it over and this is our last shot." I watched as Jesse walked in and Sarah hissed at him as my insides bubbled in anger. I was posses. I mean, he almost killed Ethan and would have succeeded unless Sarah sucked the poison out._

_"Sarah, you two aren't very happy to see me. I can tell." He said, with almost a cocky smirk. I growled._

_"You bit my best friend." Sarah glared._

_"And you made me suck out the venom, even though you knew what it would do."Jesse looked at us with a mockingly._

_"And, I'd love to be sorry about that, but I've done much worse." Ethan looked at him._

_"Later, the man who has the Lucifractor is related to the wizard you took down two hundred years ago." Jesse looked unamused._

_"Stern family revenge, what a shock?" He said, rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. I huffed, getting instantly frustrated by just looking at his face._

_"How did you stop his super great grandfather." I said, glaring in annoyance, as he shrugged._

_"He loved power. He loved to show it off. I let him wipe out most of my flock with the Lucifractor while I snuck up behind him and drained him dry." We looked at him shocked._

_"What? I told you I've done worse." We eventually arrived at the castle fairly quickly due to their super speed and we walked in cautiously, one by one until we stopped by the site of a large amount of ash on the floor, and we all knew we shouldn't be wondering what it was, it was more of a matter of who it was. Jesse raised an eyebrow._

_"I guess we missed the party." Ethan looked at Jesse briefly._

_"Where would Stern go?" Jesse grimaced._

_"The Collar. We use it to communicate with other covens, but he can use it to broadcast the Lucifractor field across the entire town at once." We instantly ran down the hall immediately without a smidge of hesitance to meet with two large Victorian-style doors, and Sarah opened them with a swift kick to see Stern standing on the alter holding the Lucifractor._

_"Ethan, so happy that you could make it." Ethan glared at him._

_"Well, I got bored looking at dead people." We watched as Stern snapped his fingers, and Rory appeared in front of us, fangs barred and ready to kill. We all stood back shocked at his form. One of Stern' s magic amulets shimmering green around his neck. Stern smiled evilly._

_"Take care of your friends for me, that's a good boy." Ethan shrunk back slightly._

_"Ror." Yeah, we talked and teased him sometimes, but this was not what we were expecting when it all came down to it. He glared. I watched as a dark orb flew out of his fingertips and past us and into the wall behind us, that in seconds turned to ash. My eyes widened as we all jumped behind a desk. Jesse growled, as the many strong-powered orbs still over our heads._

_"Okay, you guys really need to take out your friend. I mean, come on,honestly it won't be much of a lost. The guys' an idiot." Ethan gawked at him._

_"Yes, yes it will. He's still our friend and we're not leaving without him." I sighed, as I stood up and mumbled a spell under my breath as a pinkish orb flew out of my hand and I threw it at him. He growled as he jumped and next thing I knew, I was pinned against the wall, and he held me by my neck. He barred his sharp fangs at my pulse point._

_"I wonder how you taste, B-man." He said deep and darkly, with an evil, mocking smirk. My eyes widened as I struggled against him. My breath was slowly lessening, as I gasped. Sarah grabbed him by his shirt and threw him against the wall. He slumped against the wall, growling, as his long blond hair flowed over his eyes, as they slowly turned green with possession. Sarah and Jesse tried to rush after him, but Stern smiled and struck them with the Lucifractors' powerful ray. I watched in horror as they fell to the ground, on their knees and passed out._

_Rory reached me once more and lifted me. I snatched his green glowing medallion off as he did so, and he threw me against the wall, a dark orb hitting me as I hit it hard, pain shooting up my spine, making every tendon and putrid cell in my body react in utter unbearable agony. I slid down the wall, groaning, tears clouding my eyes at the pain as I mumbled a stun spell between my lips, tasting a deep hint of metallic as I shot at him, making his eyes turn dull as he finally collapsed. _

_I fell on the floor gasping for breath, as it suddenly became hitched, burning like fire from a dragon. It hurt so much. I screamed as my insides literally turned inside out, my vision becoming hazy, as I spat out some blood on the floor. The last thing I saw was Ethan running down the hall after Stern, before everything faded, blackened, slowly capturing and encasing me in the deep confindments of my mind. E._

**(A Day Later…)**

_I woke up groggily, as I opened my eyes slightly to rest on a small tuft of grass. I grimaced as I sat up to find we were no longer in the castle, but in a forest. It was so dark and murky, I could hardly see. The only light that could be made out was the small, peeking sunlight that shadowed over me through the thick canopy trees above. To me, it looked like a freaking scene from one of the horror movies Ethan always hated._

_I wiped the dried blood off of my mouth, as I stood up slightly, and the pain returned twice as hard. My bones bones hurt drastically as if someone basically wringed me out like a towel. Pain shot up my spine, as I stretched. I looked at the body who was laying across the ground next to me and it was Sarah. I grimaced as I tried to take in my surroundings. Erica was hunched against a tree and Jesse was laying across one of the many tree roots covered in Spanish moss on the ground, and Rory was slumped beside him. I saw everyone was safe, except Ethan. He was nowhere to be seen. Worry began to shoot through me, instantly remembering the events that transpired just hours earlier. I began to shake them, and they began to sit up one by one, rubbing their heads as they stared at me. Jesse groaned._

_"What the fuck happened and where the hell are we?" He said, as he stood and began to slowly dust himself off. Sarah sighed, as she stood and ran a hand through her hair, and looked around us. She grimaced quickly and looked at me._

_"Where's Ethan?" She said, worry lacing with each and every tone of her voice, as she stared at me. I shrugged, for the first time not knowing and deep down it scared me to death._

_"I don't know. I was about to ask you the same thing, actually." I watched, as Erica glared as she began to dust herself off._

_"Just great. This is all his fault. Where are we anyway?" She said, as she began to pull grass strands out her blond locks. I took a deep breath, as I could instantly sense the bad darkness and dark magic surrounding the place. I grimaced, as I ran a hand through my short, brown locks._

_"Sarah, could you fly up and see." She nodded and shot up like a rocket, quickly and she came back down as soon as she went._

_"We're on the outskirts of Whitechapel, near Jesse's house, but the city seems dark, desolate even, even from far away."_

_We all looked at each other and in seconds we were rushing back to the city, where every citizen was standing in the streets, surprised at how dark it was. The bushes and trees that once were bloomed with flowers, were now blackened and dead and black soot and fog covered the roads as if covered in death matching the darkened clouds that now floated above Whitechapel. We could hear the many whispers and murmurs of the many residents as we stared, but I was interrupted by the sudden call of my name. I watched as my grandma ran towards us, looking as healthy as before she was shot by Stern' s spell. She smiled, as she pulled me into her arms, relieved._

_"I'm so glad you all are okay. Where's Ethan?" I stared at her with a loss for words and her eyes widened in realization. She muttered a small smile._

_"Don't you worry, dearie. I'm sure wherever he is, he's fine." She said, as she once again tried to reassure me. Though my soul felt that her accusation was false, I smiled anyway._

_"Come on, you kids look more worse than when you walked out." She smiled, as she walked us into our home._

**(Six Months Later)**

_It basically have been six months since the Lucifractor incident, and everything seemed to be going back to normal without much suspicion. Though, Ethan was still missing. It got so bad, we basically had to create a clone of him just to keep his parents silent. I mean, I can't just up and say 'Oh, our school principle just happened to kidnap, E and it was all our faults, but I'm okay, though.' It just didn't make any sense. He blended in fairly well, and you could not even notice he was a clone, but it still didn't make my heart hurt any less that my friend was in trouble, could be even dead and we didn't even know where he was. We went searching for him everyday, but still nothing. _

_Though after the Lucifractor incident, all the monsters and creatures all seemed to come out to play, if you know what I mean. Apparently, evil doesn't take a holiday, so we still had to hunt. Over the spand and of time, we all began to vastly mature along with each skill we had. We even managed to run into some friends along with way. Dave Shapiro and Alex Mason to be specific. I mean, Dave was an werewolf alpha we found when the Vampire Council tried to kill him for wandering onto their lands injured. Thanks to Rory, they didn't. He fairly skilled when it came to fighting, especially Alex who never picked up a dagger in his life. Well, that's what he exclaimed. My powers seemed to improve dramatically. Though, I still needed some help at times, I wasn't as weak as before and I continued to push myself to make sure it doesn't happen. I was getting stronger. I mean, I even had a pet now. _

_It was a magic being as well with magic quite like my own. It was magical dragon disguised as Alaskan Husky to be able to survive in the human world. His name was James. He had blue eyes and salt and pepper mixed fur. He very loyal, sweet, and trustworthy. He never left my side. He could even talk and was quite sarcastic no matter how strange it was. Then again, he was one of the scientists crazy experiments when we found him, so it wasn't very surprising. Everything seemed to change since he left._

_Yes, I loved change at times, but not when he wasn't here to experience it with me. I sighed, as I continued to due my homework assigned by my new teacher, Ms. Hawkins. I swear she had it out for me. I mean, I couldn't even see over the books she addressed to me. No matter why she's single. The only light could be made out was the bright, illuminating moonlight shining through my window as the rain continued to hit sharply. The thunder booming throughout the silent house, making James who laid on the bed at my feet, mewl as a shadow flew across the window. His head flew up quickly, as his black ears shot alarmed._

_"Master Benny, someone's at the door." I raised an eyebrow at him. It was another one of his powers that made me confused. He could sense a person's presence within a hundred feet away. He basically knew who it was before they even stepped on my doorstep, but this time he didn't say their name which made my heart flutter in bewilderment._

_"Who is it?" He ruffled his fur as he stood up on his legs and jumped down from my bed. He sniffed the air slightly, and growled as he stood in a protective stance._

_"He doesn't have a scent, my lord." I ignored the strange name he called me, as I peeked my head out of my door and took a dagger out of my drawer. He began to follow me, but I stopped him in mid-stair._

_"Stay in my room." His ears went down in disappointment at my order._

_"But, master-?" I frowned at him. I would never send my own dog to his death. That's just animal abuse. Well, half Dragon half wolf abuse._

_"Stay." He nodded obediently, as he trotted back in the room. _

_I quickly began to walk downstairs, dagger in hand as I reached the living room. I mean, nobody was here except me and Grandma was at a Bridge game with the neighbors, so I honestly had no idea who it was. I mean, yeah, Sarah, Erica, Rory, and Jesse were vampires, but they still had a fairly strong scent. The ringing of the chiming doorbell caught my attention. I opened it slightly and gasped at the sight. A smile ran across my features, but I looked at him closely. It was Ethan. Ethan clothes and hair continued to get soaked as he stood on the porch. I could see him clearly because of the thunder making big glows of light every time it erupted. He was different that he was before. Much different. He literally towered over my form._

_Even when growing up, I've always been the taller one of us two so this was surprising. His eyes were not his usual heartwarming brown anymore, they were blue and his hair was no longer the sweet chocolate brown that I once loved to run my fingers through. It was now midnight black. Blue eyes simmered against the light's raise, as he stared at me, dull with absolutely nothing in his clothes were torn and the huge rip in his shirt, you could see his bleeding chest through his white shirt. The scene was quite shocking, yet it still frightened me slightly at his form. The worse part of it all was the barring fangs that adorned his mouth as he stared at me and he retracted them as quickly as I saw them, almost looking through my very soul._

_I mean, he looked like Ethan, but something seemed off in his eyes, but I quickly ignored it and pulled him inside and into my arms, I leaned into his touch. Not caring that his clothes soaked mine, as my head was now leveled with his upper-chest and he wrapped his arms around my small body. There was something definitely different. The sweet abrupt sound of his heart beating alarmed me slightly, but calmed me as I sunk into his not long forgotten embrace. I had many questions, but I decided to hold off on them as, I for once, just let him hold me._

**(A Month Later)**

_Ethan finally returned home, so we got rid of his clone. Everyone was excited that he was back and safe, but his parents still looked suspicious at his new form. They still never bothered to ask what was wrong with him though. Ethan and Sarah even began dating. Which posses me off to no end and made me even hate her even more than before. Life was not being fair to me right now._

_Over the next couple of weeks, I've been noticing some strange things in Ethan. I mean, he just didn't seem like the same guy from when he left. His personality, his appearance etc. Ethan used to be kind, bubbly, and hardly anything ever got to him. Now, he acts as if though, he's a complete different person. His nature and aura seems dark, guarded, isolated, almost angry. I mean, he talked, but not very much and if I ask about his sudden disappearance, he would look at me as if he wanted to rip someone's throat out, then play it off and asks me not to ask again. He barely even acknowledged his family anymore, let alone us._

_I soon took him to Grandma to explain his new form. He was a vampire, but he was just a halfling. He was even more powerful than a fledgling. Which meant, he had every power of a vampire, but he could control it better than a normal one could, and unlike the others, he could age, but only when he doesn't use his vampire form and he didn't necessarily need blood to survive. His powers even more greater than before, but he refused to let Grandma test him to see what they were. So in the end, we had no idea of what he was capable of, and refused to let us inspect him even more than we had._

_Soon weeks turned into months and he turned even stranger than before. When we got back, he began hunting again, but it was a thing that also surprised me to. Before, Ethan fought hesitantly. He truly didn't like to hurt others if he didn't have a good reason. Now, it was as if he fought for vengeance. No matter what they were, they were guilty. Hell, after everything went down, he even changed his school persona as well. He even joined the Jocks with Dave now, making friends with the main ones who beat him up everyday. He eventually barely came around me anymore. Again, it was strange. After three months, he even cheated on Sarah with the new girl Rosalina which earned him a swift ass-kicking from Erica. I mean, as the more time went by, I realized I was losing the one man who gave my life meaning. First, we were best friends, now we were strangers. That was until one faithful night when he asked for my virginity. I don't know why I accepted, but I did and I've never felt more closer to him no matter how far away he was. That was the reason why I laid here now, not having the strength to cry anymore, but instead distracting myself with pleasure. It was all I had left of the man who I loved. No matter how much blood and tears he caused me, I would never let him go._

**(Flashback)**

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I panted as I pulled him closer. It finally became reality. A reality that was slowly killing me inside, ripping me apart ever so delicately and ever so slowly. That surely pain I am feeling is now because of my best-friend. That was my cover, my safe-haven. In my mind, Ethan belonged to me.

This is why I stayed, why my heart keeps beating. It was my lifeline. In my subconscious, he was also a friend that wouldn't betray me, wouldn't hurt me, wouldn't go running off to his girlfriend after we're finished with our forbidden deeds. The pain will stay surely lingering on, wrapping it's poisonous wings around my delicate and fragile heart. The beating organ is slowly bleeding to it's unfortunate death, and is kindly reminding me that with each passionate night I pass along with my best-friend is an invisible painful stab to my heart's already burning open wounds.

I bit into his shoulder, tasting the familiar metallic taste of blood as he wrapped his hands around my small silky hips in a bruising manner, pulling me down with his lustful thrusts. As I sank closer and closer into the deep, dark pit of despair, slowing consuming every painful fiber of my being. Closing my eyes is the best choice for me,at the moment. Letting my sub-conscious wonder off to a perfect world where this just wasn't about getting off or satisfying his dark needs. No, tonight is about our love, the love I really desire. The love that I really need. The love that is meant for me and not for her. Which this night of lust and desire is instead one of a breath-taking passion and love. For a year, this has been going on. He would sneak through my window and I would slowly fall into his dark abyss of lies.

Each one broke my heart even more than the last, with small cracks that slowly made my heart quiver into a deadly state. I've fallen so in love with him. My soul ached for touch, his love that I knew deep down I would never receive. He doesn't want me. Every night of desire is just another lie he said so sweetly for me to continue having sex with him. I fell for each one, his unbreakable charm, but it all meant nothing because all he wanted was her. I felt harsh lips upon my own, painful, bloody kisses along with deep bites were left lingering on my own pale, battered, and bruised ones. I knew he was searching for the soft, feathery, yet delicately dressed lips he loved to kiss every moment of everyday, but why didn't he want my own?

Why couldn't he? Why doesn't he desire soft, rose red, plump lips like mine? Why didn't he have the need to kiss me and make love to me like he does his girlfriend. Why was he making my heart bleed for him this way, and to make me suffer at my own existence? I finally felt his slightly bigger body press harshly against my own, his hips moving against mine in a burning passion, creating and finding a delicious friction that made my mind blown at the touch. He desperately desired anothers touch, while I only desired his. Besides, It was just another night of pure, brutal, meaningless fucking for him. While to me, It was a gorgeous night full of passionate love-making even though his antagonizing force was not soft nor gentle in the slightest and deep down it hurt like hell, like being ripped in two with force of just one small hand that constantly lingered upon my sweaty skin.

My heart cried out in pain and anguish at just the thought he didn't love me, and he never will think of me the way I think of him in the dark, cloudless, summer nights of my soul, or to feel the love that penetrated deep in my lovely heart. Suddenly, I felt hands undress my human form as his teeth grazed and bit down hard upon my scorching naked flesh, leaving marks of a deep unhealthy desire that filled me and left markings on my fairly flushed skin, leaving bruises of the night we spent together. Reminders to my already withered heart, engrossed in my broken soul, that he would never be mine. I felt him inside of me, moving hard and fast, abusing my inner walls, deep and ever so slowly and painfully that it ripped me inside.

It hurt so bad. Tears formed under my eyelids clouding whatever vision I had left, cascading down my reddening cheeks, leaving a burning trail behind. A reminder of the blood and tears my broken heart was shedding, the pleasure that faded away, the pain that was left behind that made me cry myself to sleep every night. As his thrusts became even more erratic, deepening that I came undone, spurts of wetness staining my internal insides, destroying my very psyche that kept me leveled and grounded. I could feel him pulse inside of me as the warm sticky liquid escaped my abused, pulsing, bleeding hole and my mind cleared. Not caring if his spit was mixed with my juices and blood that traveled down my sweaty cheeks and onto the cum-filled, white sheets.

The pain lingers and the pleasure returns for only a small moment as the familiar feeling in my stomach makes his presence known and ever so quickly. I wrapped my legs around his muscular waist as my body quivered, and my arms encircling his neck, as my orgasm shot through me painfully. My lips art in an inaudible whisper of loss, heartbreak, depression, and pain and twisted mixed feelings of love I feel for him.

"E." I whisper softly as I unconsciously clutch around myself, as he leaves and left me wondering my own point of existence. Leaving what we had behind in the deep depths of my already broken heart, the nights of passion, fake desire, and need was all over.

I finally broke down as I hear the soft open and close of the bedroom window, curling into fetal position and sobbed out my heartbreak. He loves Rosalina. Ethan loves Rosalina Marisol. They have already been dating a year and each day since then has been overcome with dread. Just hearing those names together echoing throughout my malfunctioning mind made me go insane. It's like having venomous, poisonous knife plunged deep into my already withered heart, creating an unbearable sensation that would slowly consume my bleeding heart, sniffling slightly as I buried my head into my knees. Letting my arms wrap tightly around my mid-section. My nails digging into my purple , bruised broken flesh, giant streams of blood slowly moving in a synchronized dance in my veins as they slowly pulsed the heated blood down my naked body.

Soon the agony consumed my body in a exhilarating pressure that held down my very body in an overwhelming pain that made me bury myself even deeper into the white cotton pillow, soaking it in my hot, salty tears. A barrier that kept my emotions at bay and the same barrier that kept the world from knowing the true pain in my heart and to hear the pitiful sobs of my ongoing heartbreak. I held myself together tighter as my hair fell over my face wet with tears. The sudden movement leads my pulsing and aching hate to sting deep within my soul .The cotton drowned out my sobs as the pillow welcomed my awaiting sorrows with heartfelt arms. I shivered as the cold air hit my open wounds, making more pain shoot up my spine. I got up slowly, as I approached my bathroom. My eyes burned, as my bare feet hit the cold tile-padded floor and walked in the shower, turning it on as the warm spray hit my face, washing away all the evidence of my tortured heart. Masking wounds and the dirtiness I feel inside, washing it all down the drain. I grabbed my only friend in this situation, my razor blade.

I shivered and trembled as I ran it across my milky skin, as the red substance came into view. I smiled as I felt the AC cascade over my cut, teasing it with it's cold ghostly hands, making me find it's warmth, it's security to keep me alive. All the protection and love I craved for went into my single cut. I slid a couple more across my arm as the thick sheet of blood covered my arm like a warm sweater, letting out my overwhelming frustration. I smiled as the tears trailed down my cheeks, accepting my contentment. The pounding in my mind became unbearable so much that I couldn't stand it anymore and just the thought of the situation drove me crazy. It was all because of Ethan Morgan couldn't love me back, couldn't love the best-friend who has been with him and has been in love with him all his life. He couldn't love the spell master slash nerd , Benny Weir.

The stinging pain be came a blur as I slashed my wrist. Letting my mind overcloud with the sweet, sheering pain taking over my now uptight nerves. The trembles and shivers became frequent, the loss of thought making me plunge deep into deep euphoria. I gasped as my heart started to race, my body welcoming the rush from my head to my feet. My heart beating out of control and letting the blood hit the floor of the tub, as my emotions broke into small pieces that fell in the back of my mind as the wounds of the beating organ became deeper as I could feel my soul darken. I fell into the deep abyss of pain and tranquility that held me tight. I could hear the blood pumping in my ears as my eyes fled of emotion. I slipped into a peaceful state of mind for once not caring what the next day will bring.

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**Thank you so much for reading. I hope it wasn't too bad and it gave a little more insight to your questions and I'll get to answer the rest in Ethan's P. O. V. Anyway, thank you all. Review and Follow. Peace:)**


	2. Sorrow

**Hello my fellow readers, I'm back with another chapter. This literally just popped in my head and I mean, I literally just dreamt about Benny's flashback and that probably was my first MBAV related dream ever, it was awesome. Anyway, this is mainly about Benny. His life is the most important in this story. It is a sub-Benny fic, f course. It's all about him. Ha-ha. Anyway, for anyone who read my other stories, I won't make another chapter For The Love Of My Pain until probably two days from now, so if you like this and BTR, it would be a good story to read. Plus , my others will be on pure hiatus for a while until I get some true inspiration to make new chapters. Every writer needs that. Anyway, I'm trying to work on this because I didn't give this any attention since the 29th of last month, isn't that just terrible? So, I'm gonna try to at least get 2 chapters for this behind my belt before I get to my other one-shot Poisoned Heart. Anyway, Bethan Forever, thank you so much for reading my story. All of yours are pure works of art. They give me even more inspiration to continue this. Also, thank you GrayAngel13 for reading. You give me a special type of happiness to be able to have wonderful followers like you all. Anyway, thank you all for your fan-fiction love and I hope I get even more on this chapter , if you know what I mean. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. I tried really hard. Review, Follow, and Favorite. Enjoy!?**

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**Chapter 2 – Sorrow**

**(Benny's P. O V)**

I writhed against the sheets as the nightmare plagued my sub-conscious.

**(Flashback)**

_I felt abnormally cold, as I stood in the middle of the darkened alleyway. I let out a shaky breath of air, as the cool visible vapor poured out of my lips. Next thing I knew, a figure was standing at the end of it. I didn't see his face, because he had a hood on. I called out to him softly._

_"Hello?"_

_They walked towards me, but instead of responding, he just walked past me, not noticing. I yelled at him, but he disappeared into thin air. The dream started to morph, and eventually I was standing in the middle of the darken school hallway. The last time I was in the school's darkened hallway, me and Ethan were killing plant life so that made this even more weird. I found myself walking down the hallway and the hooded figure stood at the end of it, and strangely I just ran away. Not understanding the slightest reason why._

_I didn't know why, but I couldn't stop. The lockers and the many classrooms I passed became a distant blur as the figure continued to follow me. I ran past Sarah, Erica, Jesse, Alex, Rory, and Dave but they caught me as a girl in a red cloak appeared. I screamed, but they refused to let me go. The girl in the hooded red cloak went over to stand by the figure that chased me. I spotted a small patch of brown hair, as they both pulled off their hoods. It was Ethan and Rosalina. Ethan had black eyes that held absolutely nothing in them and hers were dark red and full of mischief. I gasped horrified, as I yelled to Ethan ,but he just stood there._

_A smile appeared on his features as she motioned to the back doors of the school. I screamed and almost cried as they started to carry me to the darkness._

_"Ethan, help me please!" I screamed, as the tears made their way down my face. _

_What was wrong with him? Why were they helping her? I thought they were my friends. How come he couldn't hear me? Why wouldn't he help me? I sobbed, as they carried me to the darkness behind the double doors and threw me in, closing them, leaving me to fall into the dark abyss. Hearing their laughter, as I fell and screamed, knowing deep down that no one could hear me._

**(Flashback)**

The echo of their laughter rang through my ears as I woke up, shooting up into the sitting position. My shirt was dampened with sweat, as I panted, wiping my sweaty forehead with the back of my hand. I breathed in deeply, as I tried to close out the memory from my dream, opening my eyes, letting them adjust to the harsh lighting. I yawned, as I sat up, taking in my surroundings. I rubbed my aching, blood-shot eyes. I felt the slight burn in my eyes from all the crying. I stood up and a horrid pain instantly corrupted my body, letting the pain shoot up my spine, scorching my backside in pure agony. I sighed, as I felt myself seek comfort in the pain. I slowly began to walk to the full-body mirror, as I stared at the nightmare in my reflection. My hair was messed up and disheveled and my eyes looked red and puffy from all of the many painful tears that my broken heart had shed over the past few months. The tear stains were still evident on my facial features, making my cheeks look puffy as well. I couldn't help, but let out a small sob, as I looked at my body.

Every night it never changed. My body never looks any different, but it somehow manages to look even worse than the night before. The many love bites covered my body and my body was basically showered in yellow, purple, and blue bruises from when he bit me. His hand prints were still on my hips, leaving a deep purple bruise that not only bruised my body, but bruised my soul as well. A few more tears slid down my face, as every mark reminded me of the many dark nights we've spent together, each one torturing my withered heart, not knowing the slightest idea of how to fix it.

I ran my fingers slowly over my old and new scars that lined my once porcelain skin, slowly never making me forget my undeniable pain, reminding me of who caused that pain. I sighed, as the sides of my mouth lifted into a forced pain-filled smile, that masked my feelings, making the world believe I was happy , when I wasn't. The same smile that wouldn't let others see my pain, caging my true feelings into the deep depths of my heart, so they wouldn't have to feel any unnecessary sorrow for me. The smile that kept me going every single day, that made me keep up this pointless facade that everyone seemed to believe, slowly breaking my heart each passing day as I wear it. I let out another small sob as a soft knock at my door.

"Benny, are you okay, Sweetie?" I sniffed, slowly closing away my pain once again and wiped my tears quickly.

"Yes, grandma. I'm okay." I told her softly, lying to her, knowing deep down in my weary soul, I was dead wrong.

"Okay dearie, just don't take too long so you can come down for breakfast." I let out a shuddered breath, as I held back the remaining of my tears of pain and sorrow.

"Okay, grandma." I heard the soft patter of her elderly footsteps, as she went back downstairs. I looked back at the mirror, staring at my reflection.

"I guess it's time to put back on our mask." I muttered to no one in particular, but myself, trying to convince myself on what to do, to convince my heart that this lie is true.

I grabbed a black and blue striped polo shirt from my closet, along with some gray jeans. I flinched and shuddered slightly, as the cloth came in touch with my soft, bruised skin. I slid the long-sleeved shirt over my shoulders, covering my many cuts. I slowly slid the jeans over my aching, and bruised hips, covering each and every one of my marks. I gathered my things and grabbed my backpack, my heart becoming increasingly heavy, as I walked out of my bedroom door to await another agonizing, pointless day to come to an end. I met my grandmother downstairs as I watched as she quickly maneuvered across the wide kitchen making breakfast. She placed a plate in front of me full of eggs and bacon. I let the delicious aroma fill my nostrils, but ignored it.

"You know what, I'm not really that hungry. I'll probably just head to school." I made my way to the front door.

"Wait a minute." I stopped, as I put my pain behind me, trying to muster a pain-filled smile. I looked at her.

"Aren't you gonna wait on Ethan?" My heart stopped abruptly at the mention of his forbidden name.

"He'll be fine." as I made my way out of the door, trying to avoid her gaze, leaving my grandmother bewildered.

I walked across the leveled concrete of the sidewalk, as I slowly walked to school. I passed the many houses on my street and the foliage that surrounded them. I glanced back at Ethan's as I looked to see Ethan and Rosalina making out in the front seat of his car. My heart broke into a million pieces at the site. His dad got him that car for his 17th birthday. He loved it. I helped his dad pick it out. It was an old-fashioned Impala, dark blue to be exact. It was where we kissed the first time under the beautiful moonlit sky. I blushed at the memory. I was dazed out of my many thoughts as his car started up and I hid behind our neighbors bush as they drove past.

I sighed, as the memories came back to me, as the tears escaped my burning eyes. The tears slowly fell down my face, clouding my vision as they cascaded down my reddened cheeks, watching them drive out of sight. Slowly and painfully breaking my withered heart with each passing second as they fully disappeared. Rain droplets fell on my face as I cried out in agony. I sniffed as I looked as the sky erupted into a brutal thunder that shook me, as the rain heavily fell out of the darkened sky. I sighed as I let the water soak my clothes and my hair, unable to move away from my never ending pain. I found myself not caring as I cried harder into my knees. I didn't notice the tall figure looming over me.

"Hey, are you okay?" I looked up to see the guy was holding a black umbrella over me, keeping me dry. He had gorgeous turquoise eyes and shaggy brown hair that ran to his broad shoulders and a masculine build. He looked at least 6'2 and looked to be no older than maybe a senior. I was unable to speak as he held out his hand to me. I didn't know why, but I took it. He had a weird calm and friendly nature about him.

"I'm fine." I held his hand tighter, as he pulled me up.

"You know, it's not the smartest to be walking in the rain, right?"

"I'm aware." I answered back with the comment coming out a lot more harsh than I intended, as I continued to walk. He caught up to me.

"So, where are you headed?"

"To school." I said, as I continued to look forward, trying to hide my puffy cheeks.

" I can take you if you want." That's what made me look at him, eyeing him strangely.

"So, you're gonna offer a ride to a stranger you don't know?" I eyed him incredulously. He smiled.

"Well, it's not like you're a deranged serial killer or anything. Are you?" I found myself letting out a soft laugh, knowing deep down that it was what I needed at this very moment.

"No."

"So shall we." He motioned to a red-faded Camaro.

"Sure." I found myself slowly giving in, not knowing the slightest reason why. He threw a coat over me and I smiled at the small kind gesture as we approached his car. He got the door for me before he opened his, sliding into the darkened seats.

"So, what's your name, anyway?" He said, as I found myself intrigued at the mysterious kind stranger, who was silent.

"Blake Wellington. You?" I took a short breath.

"Benny. Just Benny." I mustered, as I blushed slightly when he looked at me. He chuckled.

"So, you're saying you have no last name what so ever?" I laughed at the way he said it.

"Well, I'm not telling you. I don't know if you're a serial killer yet." I said, softly, as we came to a stop.

"Okay, but I was just asking."

"Thanks for the ride." I smiled slightly.

"You're welcome" He said, as he shot me a pearly white smile that would make any girl swoon and faint at the same time. I got out of the expensive car, noticing his coat still on my shoulders.

"Your coat-" I started, but he held up a hand to stop me.

"Keep it. You need it more than I do." I blushed, as I slowly walked away from the car and he called out to me.

"Any by the way, I'm not." as he gave me a look and I couldn't determine if it was flirtatious. I gave him a wave as I walked off only to be spotted by Sarah and Erica.

"Benny, what happened and who were you talking to?" She gave me a worried look and looked at me suspiciously. I shook my head.

"Just this guy who-" I looked back and the car was gone.

"What guy?" I sighed.

"Never-mind." Sarah and Erica looked at each other and shrugged.

"Okay, come on, we need to get inside before we're missed." Sarah grabbed and led me into the brown-stoned school.

* * *

She instantly led me to my locker where the others were bickering. Mostly Jesse and Dave, as Rory and Alex shook their heads at their boyfriends antics. They were discussing last nights football game.

"The score was 11-20." as Dave smirked at him.

"It was 11-15." Jesse argued as he glared at him.

"No, it wasn't." Dave argued.

"Yes, it was." Jesse gave him a look.

"Nu uh."

"Uh huh."

"Nu uh"

"Uh huh." Erica sighed and rolled her eyes.

"What do you think?!" Jesse and Dave said at the same time, giving Rory and Alex looks. Alex had a loss for words ,but Rory answered.

"We ain't in this one. You're on your own." as Rory went back to digging in his locker. Erica snickered.

"Wow, great way how to act like men." They both glared.

"Who asked you, she devil?"

"You did." She gave them an unamused smirk. They continued to argue, as I opened my locker to get my books out. I could only shake my head as they argued with Erica. I guess you're all wondering how this group even came to be. Well, Let's start with Jesse and Alex. I watched as he wrapped an arm around Alex's waist.

Well, when Jesse came back about the Lucifrator, he stayed. They were all pretty weak after the incident and we agreed he could stay, as long as he behaved. The more time we spent with him, the more we came to like him. Sarah didn't like it at first, but she warmed up to it. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't like him either at first. I mean he bit my best-friend, and almost killed all of us at least three times. It's a hard thing to get over, but when I noticed he tried to change, I couldn't hold it against him. In no time after that, we were friends. It was few doubts here and there, but we worked through them. Alex mostly did all of that though.

He is a strange one though. His parents were rich, two generations worth. He came from money. Not to mention, he was more of a nerd than Ethan was, he was like a freaking dictionary. We were surprised when Jesse found him. A few guys hurt him really badly and he was covered in blood when he took him to my grandmother and she gave him a healing spell, but it didn't stop our suspicion. I mean Jesse was more the one to put people out of their misery, if you know what I mean, so it was a surprise that he actually saved anyone. I mean, I know it sounds harsh, but Jesse just didn't do that kind of thing. He was more of a bite you and forget you type of person, so. I took him to my grandma and she thought it was an act of imprinting. It surprised us all because it was very rare for a vampire to find their mate. I mean there's marriage, but their bond wouldn't be that strong.

Alex freaked out when we told him, but in less than a month, he was in love with Jesse and much as Jesse was in love with him. Hell, he actually asked Jesse to change him after only 6 months of them being together. I thought he was nuts when he told me , but they couldn't be any closer than they are now. If they're happy then so what. Jesse kissed Alex's neck, as he held him. I smiled as I looked towards Rory and Dave. Their story was a bit more complex.

Dave was rich just like Alex, and was a football player. He had two older brothers who played football as well. He had only been here for 2 years. I remember when me and Sarah used to catch him eyeing Rory like a love sick puppy in the lunchroom everyday before they even met. It was actually kind of funny it you thought about it. I'm surprised Rory didn't even catch on. It was weird when they got imprinted also. They imprinted when the Vampire Council said they wanted Ethan to kill a werewolf they had captured. Rory was the one who saved him though. It was the first time, we seen Rory so mad. He almost bit Anastasia and we were surprised they didn't try to kill him. Instead, they're just still scared of him. After we saved him, Dave asked him out countless times and Rory said no. It was hilarious every time Dave flirted with him, Rory blew him off.

Rory didn't agree to go on a date with him until, he dated a girl just to make him mad. When they did, it stirred up the lovey dovey slash horny side of Rory we didn't even know he had. I mean every we saw them, they were fucking like rabbits, but other than that they couldn't stay away from each other, even if you paid them. They were inseparable. I could only chuckle as I looked at the most unlikely couple in my book. In retrospect, it was obvious ,but to me it was a shocker. Erica and Sarah got together shortly after Jesse and Alex did. Erica almost tried to kill Ethan after he broke up with Sarah for Rosalina.

I've never seen her like that. Sarah sulked for at least a week behind that. I didn't think much of it, because I used to hate her. I mean, she stole the heart of my dear Ethan, who wouldn't, but the more I seen her like that, the more I realized how much we really had in common. I knew he would never love me, and I knew it was exactly how Sarah felt when Ethan told her he didn't love her. At the time, we both wanted something we couldn't have. Something we badly desired, but couldn't touch. When I realized that, we became closer than all the rest, taking each others pain and put our hate away to create a beautiful friendship. She was the only one who truly knew about my feelings, and I was the only one who knew about hers. When she thought she might be in love with Erica, I just convinced her to tell her and Erica felt the same, for some years now, to be specific and Erica has been possessive ever since.

I could only smile at the fact that everyone had found a special person to make them happy, but I couldn't deny that I was jealous of the fact that I didn't. The fact they have someone who loved them dearly, and the one I loved would never love me as much as I love him. I'm not gonna lie, everyone deserves happiness and they deserved every bit of the sweet love they earned . I just hate the fact that I haven't found mine, and that I didn't want to face the reality that I might be destined to forever be alone. I felt my heart drop at the very thought. I sighed, as Erica groaned and rolled her eyes. I followed everyone's gaze to the nightmare that stood before me.

There also was Ethan. A guy who was good at hiding almost anything. The same guy who I spent my night with and if you asked ,would say it never happened, and act like he never cared. The guy I was utterly in love with and my feelings couldn't deny. The same person who made my heart stop every time I looked at him and makes my heart break every time I think of the beautiful, unfaithful monster as known as Rosalina's boyfriend. The same man who made me spend my nights in tears, crying over the fact he would never be mine, and he couldn't love the guy that loved him like no one else ever has. That was the bitter truth of my life, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't convince myself that it was all true, hoping in the deep depths of my broken soul that it could never be. I tried to hold back tears as I looked towards him.

"What's up, B" It took every ounce of my being not to shout at him. Instead I looked at the ground.

"I'll see you guys at lunch." as I walked off without another word, my heart on my sleeve, hoping and praying this horrible day will finally end.

* * *

**Well, that was all folks. Tune in next time. Peace:)**


	3. Sorrow(Part 2)

**Hello my fellow readers. I'm finally back with a new chapter. Yay!? I'm happy to finally be able to post something. I haven't gotten to this in a while and I'm doing it now. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They mean a lot to me as a writer and I would like to thank **_JazzyMusic123_** for reading my story. A lot of your work is plain fantastic. It meant a lot. Really. This chapter is about the second half of this day and I'm supposedly adding a new character because she will appear up a lot as well so you may as well get to know her. Also, there will be some Rosalina bashing as well. Even I hate her, so there will be some bashing. Anyway, I hope you all really enjoy this chapter. I worked hard on it, so I hope you all take it to your likeness. Anyway, I hope I get good reviews, follows, and favorites behind this. Enjoy!?**

* * *

** Chapter 3 – Sorrow(Part 2) **

**(Benny's P. O. V)  
**

My classes seemed to go agonizingly slow. Each one seemed to slow down even more than the last. It was getting off my nerves and it made my insides crank in anger like the sound of a grandfather clock at noon. Not to mention, Ethan seemed to show up in each and every one, making my heart ache in wither in pain. It's like the universe picked this specific day to torment and mess with my malfunctioning mind. Each and every class Rosalina was beside Ethan, slowly torturing my broken soul every time she held him, kissed him, touched. It was becoming very hard to listen to our chemistry teacher, as my thoughts continued to cloud and fog my mind.

I couldn't find myself to concentrate as the many images of Rosalina whirled around in my sub-conscious, stirring up my emotions, making my heart feel like a piece of metal against sandpaper. Rubbing and scarring my punctured heart until nothing was left. I felt tears come to my eyes at the thought. I slowly began to hear a small, girlish like voice. I grimaced as I tried to make it out.

_"You know, the funny thing about metal is, its always the one that comes out soft and polished. The sandpaper, that is, always just comes out worn out and ugly."_

I recognized the soft voice. Anna. I turned around in my seat slightly to see the blonde with ice-blue eyes that kind of reminded me of a rushing water.

_"__How did you get in my head?" _

_"Oh, I have my ways." _as I could instantly sense her smile.

_"__Get out of my head." _

_"Okay, but your thoughts are just so interesting. Oh, and you might want to pay attention." _I frowned, sarcastically.

_"You think?" _as I heard her girlish presence leave my mind. I was instantly pushed out of my thoughts by the teachers' voice, Mr. Hamilton.

"Benjamin Weir, are you truly back to earth with us?" I blushed, slightly embarrassed as the many snickers filled the chemistry lab.

"Yes sir."

"Well then, you will be able to know which chemical compound in which ions are held together in a lattice structure, consisting of negative and positive portions, right?" as he instantly shot me a look.

"An ionic compound." I said, slightly above a mere whisper. He smiled.

"Very good, Mr. Weir." He went back to writing our assigned homework on the board. I let out a calming breath I didn't know I was holding, slowly trying to make my heart rate slow down, as the bell finally rung. I quickly began to gather my things into my bag, walking out of the lab, as I heard footsteps catch up to me. I glared at Anna.

"Anna, you could have gotten me in trouble." as I looked at her accusingly. She smirked.

"Oh, come on, it's not like you don't already know the stuff. You're the smartest guy I know." I rolled my eyes at her carelessness.

"Plus, it's not like you were paying attention. All your thoughts was about that she hag." She made a disgusted face, putting extra emphases on 'she hag'. I sighed as I looked down.

"I don't even know why you let her get to you. She's nothing, but a stuck up bitch who fucks anyone but Ethan." My eyes widened.

"Anna." She shrugged.

"What, I'm just saying. I mean if he was gonna get something with that many thorns, he was better off getting with a cactus. I mean, look at her." as she tripped a classmate while Ethan was rummaging through his locker, her smile clearly evident as she watched at the nerd dropped all his things on the floor. I frowned, feeling remorse for the clearly tortured student.

"Come on, that should be a crime." Instantly feeling my heart stop as her kissed her. I can see a glint of anger flash across Anna's features as she looked at me.

"Come on, let's go to lunch. Just watching them is making my stomach churn." I smiled slightly, walking off with her.

We eventually reached the cafeteria. When we walked in, we instantly saw the table we always sat at in the middle of the lunchroom. We ventured over to see the others were already there. Alex and Jesse were to busy making out to pay attention, and Rory basically was watching Dave take down four plates in front of him like he hadn't eaten in days, and Sarah instantly starting up a conversation with Anna about makeup while Erica just filed her nails.

"What's up, guys?" They all looked up at me and smiled, Sarah motioning for me to sit by her. I sat as I watched the others in silence. Erica frowned, clearly disgusted as she looked at Dave.

"Basically watching the idiot take down four plates all by himself. I mean, can you not be such a dog?" We watched as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and Rory looked at him like he had grown two heads.

"What? Wolves have high metabolisms." Anna grimaced.

"How can you even eat that slop? Even if I was half dead I still wouldn't eat it." Dave shrugged.

"You know, it's not half bad." as held it up so everyone could smell it. Everyone grimaced.

"Ew, I may be tom-boyish but that's still disgusting." I chuckled as the others laughed as Anna began to argue with him about his eating habits.

Anna, well I just found was she was my third cousin on my mother's side. She was the only person I knew who had magic just like me. She was a White-lighter. Her mother sent her to live with us so she could train properly. She was ambitious and a bit crazy, but as soon as she came, we became quick friends. She was the only other one who knew about my crush on Ethan as well as me being gay other than Sarah. The funny thing about it was, she was gay too so I knew if I told her, she wouldn't say anything. She was a nice girl and I couldn't think of life without her.

Well, none of my friends actually. I found myself smiling through my never-ending pain, as they continued to argue. I'm not gonna lie, they were a small part of my life that was interesting. Loyal, trustworthy, and kind friends that you could die for, enough to make at least some of the days of my miserable existence worth living.

Knowing deep in my withered heart, even though they couldn't take away all of the pain, they could at least ease some of my overbearing sorrow that constantly plagued and corrupted my shattered soul, to make each of my days a bit more bearable than my last. I smiled slightly, but frowned instantly as the dreadful silence once again overcame the once joyful group.

"Oh, crab apples." We all grimaced at Anna's choice of words as I felt my emotions once again begin to stir in my chest at the beautiful monster also known as my heart's true desires, came our way.

My heart beginning to stop instantly at the sight of him, making it wither and ache ever so slowly. My heart quickly beating in my chest, breaking even more with each heartbreaking beat. The more closer he got, the more I felt my heart slowly beginning to wither away, the pieces slowly falling into the deep, dark abyss of my soul, refusing to ever want to come out, due to there not being anything to put it back together again. Tears beginning to swell in my eyes again, but I refused to let them fall as Ethan hold Rosalina closer.

My gut churning with hate as I looked at the brunette with hazel eyes. She was almost the same height as E. She has brown hair that was perfectly curled. She was thin, but had small curves that encased her body and soft, angelic features that somehow made every guy in WCH drop to his knees, especially with the light makeup that dressed her face. She wore a pink and black thin flannel shirt along with black skinny jeans, spaghetti strap heels. In everyone's eyes, she was gorgeous and a perfect object of beauty and her being a cheerleader didn't help.

I personally hated her though. She didn't love Ethan like I did. She never could. Ethan and I shared a bond that no one on this side of Heaven nor Earth could ever truly understand. I mean, I loved him so much, it hurt. Love was one of the things I couldn't fight, something I wasn't prepared for. I mean, I hated why I loved him. No words on this horrid planet could even begin to describe how much. It's just, I hated being in love with someone who would never return my affections, someone who would clearly never love me. I would basically follow him into the jaws of death on a pale horse of destiny. No matter how cliche it sounds, I would die for him.

How come he couldn't see that? I kept asking myself questions that no one on Earth could possibly answer, questions that still leaves the universe warped with undeniable mystery, questions, questions that my intellect couldn't even begin to answer. I desired and wanted him with a burning passion that intensified with each passing day, slowly consuming me in it's treacherous wings of death, killing me slowly from the inside out. I wish sometimes I could jump off the ledge of this miserable life and take away all my pain, a pain that Ethan created, a black hole that's slowly been consuming me in it's horrible darkness of despair and melancholy ever since I met him. My heart beats only for him, for his love, but it also bleeds for his existence, dripping blood for each passing day that he can't be mine.

Sometimes I wish I didn't love him, then maybe the pain wouldn't hurt so much. Hell, I wish I could forget, each kiss, each touch, but no matter how hard I tried, Ethan would come back, once again filling my heart with nothing but pain and misery, drowning me in unfathomable melancholy, drowning my heart in his lies. My heart sinking as the many thoughts of us rushed into my mind. I found myself unconsciously getting up to stand. Something in my heart wanting me to leave, not wanting to see the man that has caused me so much heartache. I just needed to get away, anywhere where he wasn't.

**(Sarah's P. O. V)  
**

I looked at Benny who had pain mixed with a deep hint of hurt shimmering in his eyes as he looked towards the couple. I couldn't help but be mad as I looked at Ethan. How could he not see they were perfect together? Why would he want to waste his time on this poor excuse of a girlfriend? Can't he see the pain he's causing Benny? I found myself instantly reminiscing every night he called me crying, all the tears he cried over him, instantly feeling the same exact feeling of when Ethan dumped me and threw me away like I was nothing to him. Knowing deep in my heart that I can't take away his pain. It hurt me so much that I couldn't. Benny didn't deserve this. He deserved happiness like everyone else, the same love I share with Erica. Unconditional, Sweet, and Pure love. I mean I still loved Ethan. No matter what, he was still a great friend, but I couldn't help but thinks he makes the dumbest choices. After all these years, how could you not know your bestfriend was in love with you? Sometimes I wonder just how blind he is.

"Benny, why are you going?" looking at Benny who was now standing.

"Just History, Ms. Higgins hates when we're late." as I looked at Benny, knowing I couldn't hide the concern in my eyes for even one second, then I nodded.

"Okay." as I smiled slightly at him, trying to hide my remorse for the brunette. Ethan kissed her cheek, going to get in the lunch line. She instantly coming to our table, instantly glaring at Benny before she flashed a smile at everyone else.

"Hi friends, what's up?"as I looked at the hateful looks they gave her. Dave glared at her.

"Your 'hi' isn't good here. Number one, we're not your friends. We don't like you. Number two, what the fuck do you want?" Dave said, instantly speaking for each face at the table. She frowned.

"Awe, that hurt. Can't a girl say 'hello' to her friends." Anna glared at her, her eyes turning a deep shade of blue, instantly sensing she was getting mad.

"No, and we're not your friends. Now get lost." She pouted, in an acting motion.

"I would, but I don't take orders from a low-life dogs, not to mention unfashionable bitches." I watched as Dave started growling and Anna looked ready to pounce. The others just plain looked pissed, watching as Benny began to walk away. I saw a small trace of Rosalina foot as she tripped him. I found myself instantly wanting to sink my teeth into her neck, sucking out each and every last bit of her poisonous blood as I rushed to his side, noticing how his food stuck to his clothes and was matted up in his hair as I helped him up. Blistering anger running through me as I looked at the evil witch. Laughter beginning to fill the lunchroom as tears began to build in his eyes, watching as Benny ran out of the lunchroom.

"Benny!" Sighing, as Ethan finally came and looked at us in confusion.

"Guys, what's the problem?" We all glared at him. I shook my head not wanting to answer his question, instantly running off to find him. I just hope he's okay.

* * *

**(Benny's P. O. V) **

Day eventually turned into a brutal night. The familiar feeling beginning to rush back, my blood pumping, rushing as I tried to fill the empty feeling inside of me once more, loneliness, depression, pain, and hurt. The emotions I knew all to well, slowly beginning to consume me once more. Not caring, if my phone continued to ring on my bed, knowing it was the others ringing my phone off the hook to see if I'm okay. I knew they were just worried, but now I just wanted to be left alone, alone in the deep depths of my internal soul, once again letting the sweet darkness ravage me, devouring me slowly, yet painfully. Blood continued to fill my head, rushing through my ears, the loud banging against my skull becoming rather comforting. I found myself welcoming the sweet and tender pain that always seemed to comfort me at night, overwhelming me in it's sweet intensity, caressing me in my most horrid nightmares.

Seems that no matter what, I could never escape the brute of the hell that continuously surrounded me day in and day out, capturing me and sealing me into indefinite darkness. The excruciating pain of my heart emptying all out of what once was in my body, onto the cold, hard tile floor, signaling my last ounces of hope breaking away as I began to feel the blood running down my arm. My many cuts creating a river of blood that agonizingly dripped down my fingertips, reminding me of my anger, my heartache, my misery, and my depression scattered across the tiles, staining them in my unbearable sorrow. Each cut on my arm symbolizing the love of the man that has caused me so much pain, a love that leaves me broken and shattered every night, wondering how I was even able to get up the next morning. As funny as it seems, this is my life, a life filled with unstoppable darkness and despondency.

I gently leaned my head against the tile, tears streaming steadily down my porcelain cheeks. A smile clearly evident on my lips, as the many cuts began to throb, letting my mind slip into a state of euphoria as the pain felt as sweet as nectar from a flower on a summer day. It was exhilarating yet, peaceful. My wounds slowly becoming deeper as I tried to forget what happened just hours prior, wanting to forget the blissful heartache, the embarrassment, life itself. Simply wanting to drown myself in the sheering pain that held me now, knowing it's the only thing to make me feel alive, make me feel whole at this one moment. My eyes slowly beginning to droop as all emotions left me, letting out an involuntary sob as I took a calming breath, sinking into the deep, dark parts of my tethered soul, wishing it all would go away, hoping just once I didn't have to wake up tomorrow.

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**Well, that was all. I hope it wasn't bad. I tried my best. Dang, I haven't gotten to this in quite some time. Hopefully I will post another in a day or two so I can get to For The Love Of My Pain. I can't really do that if I'm constantly thinking about this. It's a process, you know. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I really hope it was to your liking. Anyway, thank you all for reading. It's 10pm and I have to go to sleep. Love you all, Follow, Favorite, Review. Goodnight. Until next time – Genora**


	4. Desolation

**Hello my fellow readers, I'm back like I promised. Here's the other chapter. After this, I'm gonna have to start creating the mpreg chapters. That's always the best part. Oh, and I have to start bringing Blake back into the story so hopefully that will be exciting. Anyway, thank you for reading the previous chapter and loving it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one too. ****Enjoy!?**

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**Chapter 4 – Desolation**

**(Benny's P. O. V) **

Three weeks. Three long and dreadful weeks have painfully gone by. Three weeks since the specific night of passion, pain, and heartache. That night that lead my only source of life to be crushed and shattered, to become mechanic and beat only to keep me alive. Slowly letting a deep and painful wound carve itself deeply into the deep, internal depths of my heating flesh. All this pain that I feel, all the heartache, all the melancholy that I endure with each passing minute of the day and every agonizing hour of the dreadful night was caused by the one man I supposedly loved, Ethan Morgan.

Slowly abused by the mere thought of his bitter existence. The beautiful male that made my heart speed up, made my cheeks ache with each smile my lips threatened to muster, with each touch his hands would lay upon my bare skin, moments I would always cherish even if for him, I was just a way to please his forbidden deep desires, desires that always ended in us being connected as one, hearts beating in complete utter sync as my tight, warm, velvet walls clutched his pulsing member. I took a deep breath, slowly letting my eyelids flutter close and softly shaking my head from side to side, trying to desperately get rid of the consuming thoughts involving him. Still, the thoughts of that night lingered around my malfunctioning mind, like a poisonous pain that will always be around until it is finally cured.

Yet, it would never be cured, knowing in the deep depths of my internal soul that there was no cure for that tragic pain that now haunted me, a small part of me never wanting it to ever disappear. The pain is like a sweet reminder of what I had with him. It will always be the painful reminder of what I can never have with the beautiful monster that held and caged my withered heart. The beautiful monster that had left an impenetrable mark that has now cursed me, a marking that now laid upon my bruised body, my forgotten soul, and my broken heart. The beautiful monster that had taken every single thing from me, my sanity, my soul, my virginity, and the possibility to fall in love with someone else.

Everything is gone because of him. An audible sigh escaped my parted lips, my pale eyelids fluttering open and the light that my nightstand provided, slowly fogging my vision. Nothing has changed and nothing will ever change. I felt a painful tug at my now tethered and broken heart strings, feeling the light stinging sensation inside my chest, while my green eyes traveled across the room. Ever since I sorted out my feelings for him back in the seventh grade, I always known that my biggest wish was to share a bed with the one that held my heart, to be able to sleep against him and wake up next to each other every morning wrapped in his muscular arms, but that dream slowly faded away when I stepped foot in Whitechapel and Rosalina came in the picture. I quickly turned away from the picture of Ethan and I on my dresser, trying not to think about Ethan and Rosalina in bed.

I shook those thoughts away quickly, getting comfortable in my bed, clutching and tugging the white sheets and blankets over my fragile and trembling body. My back turning to the only source of light in the room, as I stared out the window at the glorious stars above, watching as they painted the sky in an ominous white light, slowly feeling darkness consume me and letting the arms of darkness and despair wash over me as I found myself reminiscing about that night.

**(Flashback)**

_I was almost there, almost in the graceful arms of darkness, a gentle step away from the lands of dreamland, but everything came tumbling down when that squeak came from the once closed window, hearing the audible crack on the wooden floor as I began to count his agonizing footsteps. Suddenly hearing the tight closing of my bedroom window, I laid on the bed, still. My eyelids covering my green orbs, shielding them away from the image of him and the light from my bright-lit lamp. Five minutes passed until I felt his touch, his touch that I loved the most, and then followed by his sweet and sultry voice, the voice that continued to break my heart with each lie he told. Tonight, it was different, everything was different.  
_

_ I felt the right side of my bed dip slightly as I felt his arms wrap around my small, exotic frame, feeling his lips lightly graze over my ear, hearing his soft breathing, making tingles run down my spine as his breath caressed my earlobe, stroking my hip._

_"Benny." A deep hint of lust and desir__e, deeply embedded in his beautiful voice. _

_"Yes, Ethan?" I whispered, letting my eyelids flutter open before I turned to look at him._

_"I need you. I need to kiss you, I need to feel you, I need to be inside of you." His breath once again caressing my ear as he crawled on top of me and leaned down, capturing my lips with his own. _

_I needed him, even though after everything was finished and his desires were pleased, he would leave me again. I would be left in a pit of darkness with a shattered heart all over again. Here I am once again, all the feelings and emotions I tried to block out two weeks ago was coming back. The remembrance of being hurt and having my heart being stepped on, broken in two__was long forgotten. Here I am, lying down on dirty and wrinkled white sheets, my naked body arching off of the bed, as pleasure flowed throughout my heated flesh and limbs, slowly succumbing me, burying me in my most painful desire. _

_A pathetic whimper escaped my parted lips, panting._

_My arms and fingers wrapping themselves around Ethan's neck, tangling my fingers through his long__, __brown tufts of hair, as my legs began to wrap themselves around Ethan's muscular, but yet thin waist. I slowly began to pull him closer, letting him go deeper inside of me, letting the beautiful monster take control of me, feeling him steadily moving inside of me. The slapping of skin echoed throughout the small heated room, loud moans and whimpers could be heard throughout the empty room._

_For once, I was grateful that everyone was gone for the night. Grandma was at a poker game with a few woman from the neighborhood and my cousin was studying at her girlfriends' house, knowing this was the perfect night to let Ethan take and claim my body all night long, just to please his own desires and once again let him shatter my heart, even though, in the long run, it will bring back an unbearable pain of which my heart continued to plunder. _

_I let my body arch into his big, sweaty chest, feeling each and every new defined muscles flexing under my palms. I soon felt muscular arms wrap around my thin frame as my legs and arms tightened around his body, pounding into me. Small whimpers of pain escaping my lips as I felt burning liquid run down my now over-stretched cheeks, yet the pleasure was still there, taking control of my already weakened body._

_Suddenly,__e__very moment, every pant and moan, every whimper and gasp, __e__very pleasure that filled and coursed through our heated bodies __stopped, fading away.  
_

**(Flashback)**

I closed my eyes tightly as I tried to block out the images, knowing deep in my soul that all the passion-filled nights were all lies. He didn't want me. He didn't love me. I sighed, as tears once fell down my porcelain cheeks. Was it because I didn't have the hazel eyes that stared back at him every night? Was it because I didn't have the sweet, gentle caress of a woman's touch? Why couldn't he see that I loved him beyond anyone else in the world? All I could think of was, why? Why does he find joy in tearing up my already withered heart? Hell, why did I have to be in love with the same man that has caused me so much heartache? Why did I desire his pain? My heart filling with the dark emotions that continued to comfort me at night as I slowly let the darkness's wings wrap around my fragile body, letting the saccharine darkness overcome me, feeling a single tear roll down my reddened cheek as I slowly let unconsciousness succumb me, dreaming of the man I hated to say I was purely and utterly in love with.

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**Well, that was all. I hope it wasn't too disappointing. I tried my best. Anyway, thanks for reading. It's 3am and it's time for me to go to bed. Anyway, Review, Follow and Favorite. Hope you enjoyed it. Goodnight.**


	5. Standstill

**Hello my fellow readers, it has been a long while since I touched this story and I probably won't for a few more weeks at least. I mean, I got a tip from a fellow writer like me and she gave me some wonderful advice. I can't give her name out at the moment, but it was very helpful. I gonna be re-editing all my chapters and fixing them. Apparently, they haven't lived up to my standards so I'm postponing it until I get my writing streak back. All the updates are gonna be mostly reposts until I get to where I was so please bear with me. I'm most likely gonna delete this too after I'm done just to alert you all. I'm really sorry for making you all wait but I've kinda been preoccupied with my other stories. Anyway, hopefully I'll redo the first chapter in three days so I hope you all don't get impatient. Thank you all for reviewing and following, it meant a lot to me and I will see you all again soon. Peace and love - Genora :)**


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